The Osamon Lemon
by PistasDeAzul
Summary: This is the tragic tale of a Michael Digimon who is in pursuit of the pleasures of life.... *sniff* THIS FANFIC WAS WRITTEN BY THE GREAT FERAS, LONG LIVE THE GREAT FERAS, THIS LAND IS MAKE OF LOVE AND PEACE!!!!


The Osa-mon Lemon by: CruelEngel01  
  
One day, there was a desperate guy named Osa-mon. He went to some random girl who happened to be in the hallway at the same time as he and decided to take his best friend's advice on how to get girls and began, "Hey Baby! Wanna Fuck!"  
  
Why this had happened was quite unknown. What Osa-mon saw in this girl from the hallway was a mystery to all men as she was butt ugly. Her name escapes me at the moment but is certainly remembered by Osa-mon as he made a point to remember so he could cry it out in ecstasy in his moment of climax. She was however in an advanced math program so this may have appealed to Osa-mon's sick sense of attraction. What man was he? What is a woman if not simply a nice body which one can play with? This boy perhaps had not realized this as his age of becoming had not come yet and his tool to be used in his plans was not yet quite developed. It was still as soft as a really soft thing while many others his age had theirs already as hard as a really hard thing.  
  
Osa-mon's sick pleasures, however, would not be fulfilled as this girl replied to his un-generous offer, "Get the fuck away from me you cock- sucking sodomite."  
  
Osa-mon was greatly depressed at this expected answer. So what if he sucked cocks! Fuck her! Yes, that was what he wished to do. His mind set on this goal of his as he set forth to try again.  
  
Osa-mon approached his prey and, one last time, tried to get this girl into bed with himself. He asked her, "Come on baby! Let's go get some fried chicken and get BUSY!"  
  
"Get away from me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! PERVERT! I don't want to have anything to do with you!" said this girl as she smacked him. HARD!  
  
Osa-mon laid on the cold, hard ground as she who he chased walked away, busily talking to her friend about how perverted he was. Here, Osa-mon began to think. She had rejected him. He did not enjoy rejection. He would take his revenge. He wanted.to get laid.  
  
His simple mind began contemplating a plan. A plan that would enable him to get some. Osa-mon put on his glasses, paced around the room, and muttered, under his breath, "Hmmmmm." He was being intellectual. Can you not see the great intellectualness? Osa-mon shouted, "Ah-ha!" as a plan came to his itty bitty mind. Osa-mon.would certainly get some this way! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (lightning strikes in background although he's indoors with no windows)  
  
"Hello," began Osa-mon as he approached the victim of his "ingenious" plan.  
  
"Didn't I tell you to fuck off!"  
  
"Well yes, but I want to talk to you about something now."  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"I'll pay you!"  
  
"How much?"  
  
"All the money I have right now."  
  
"Even in your bank account?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Okay, fine, I'll give you 30 seconds to talk with me."  
  
"Alright!" replied Osa-mon as he led the unwitting girl into some random dark alley that appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"What do you want?" started the butt ugly girl who was waiting for her payment.  
  
"You'll see!" said Osa-mon. He then procured ropes and other long stringy- things from his back pocket (I don't know how it fits) and said, "I will catch you!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
Osa-mon succeeded in capturing this girl although out of much breath. The only way he was able to do this was that a certain "friend" of Osa-mon (one who received much payment) was there to hold the girl down as Osa-mon certainly could not haul around his obesity while running.  
  
"I have you now!" muttered Osa-mon as he was trying to make this scene more dramatic.  
  
Osa-mon used his knowledge of the ancient art of Japanese rope-binding and tied this girl up in a "sexual" manner. By this I mean her arms were tied back to a wall and her legs were tied to her arms, leaving her "hole" quite open to a foreign invader.  
  
But as explained before, Osa-mon's was as soft as a really soft thing. It wouldn't go in. He tried and he tried and he tried again but no matter what he did, it refused to enter.  
  
"Curse this thing," cursed Osa-mon at his accursed thing as that as the girl laughed at his futile efforts to penetrate. She pointed at the useless piece of tissue and laughed. Osa-mon felt quite aroused due to her staring but unfortunately, his "little brother" refused to get excited.  
  
Osa-mon turned around and, with his fist, tried to convince his "little bro" to grow up. His "little brother" still did not listen.  
  
Osa-mon's "friend" (who was generously paid) had taken the opportunity to untie the girl from the wall and carried her off. He would have fun. His was as hard as a really hard thing. His "little brother" was quite big.  
  
As Osa-mon's "friend" picked up the girl "off the rebound" and into the distance (the alley opened up magically), a shout echoed from not far away, "I DEJITARU MONSUTA! I CHAMUPYON!" in his pitifully broken English  
  
I'm way too nice to make this the end, so I'll just say that I didn't write down the rest of the story. 


End file.
